As much of a blast as this season of my life has been, and as many things that the Lord has healed and restored to me, I can't help but wonder why in the world my Godly, manly husband hasn't found me yet!!! I have seen a lot of hurt and brokenness in the relationships around me- even the close ones in my family- and because of these I have chosen to wait patiently on the Lord to bring that man into my life, knowing that the best things really are worth waiting and fighting for.
I also can't help but glance around and see so many people dating, marrying godly significant others, and raising up families to the glory of God and I so desire that for my own life. I also can't help noticing when I'm doing that glancing, that I just don't see anyone out there that I personally just couldn't live the rest of my life without! Not that there are no godly, manly men- oh there definitely are, especially at my church, it's just that I can't see myself with any of the ones I know (and love for that matter- I have some awesome brothers!!!) which makes me wonder if I need to place myself in a situation to meet some more godly, manly men elsewhere...
Once upon two years ago a friend encouraged me to join eHarmony... I was convinced that it would at least be fun, so I paid for a couple of months and talked to a few folks on there- it was fun, but again, I didn't meet anyone I couldn't live the rest of my life without. Considering the website again, I'm just wondering if it makes things too easy for the men- aren't they supposed to chase after us and all?! I guess there's still that who talks to whom first game, but good grief! Jesus take the wheel and send my husband!!!! This whole dating thing stresses me out! Praying through joining again and whether or not that is truly waiting on the Lord for my mate. Wisdom or input anyone???
Friday, September 7, 2012
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
How Long?
Sometimes I wonder just how long the Lord will let me go along in my own little ways of stubborn disobedience and misery- when I just KNOW that I am SO right and that others have SO wronged me. Separating myself & justifying it under the cover of being busy or tired or whatever the excuse for the day may be.
It's in places like this that I see just how wretched I am and just how much I need the Lord to heal the hurt places in my heart- that while people can hurt like daggers to my heart, the Lord sees purpose in all of it. (and that the biggest dagger is sometimes the one in my very own hand, bent on destroying my own life)
Oh that I would lay it all down (including the nasty dagger in my own hand) and trust the Lord for restoration...
It's in places like this that I see just how wretched I am and just how much I need the Lord to heal the hurt places in my heart- that while people can hurt like daggers to my heart, the Lord sees purpose in all of it. (and that the biggest dagger is sometimes the one in my very own hand, bent on destroying my own life)
Oh that I would lay it all down (including the nasty dagger in my own hand) and trust the Lord for restoration...
Monday, April 16, 2012
Break every chain
'there is power in the name of Jesus. There is power in the name of Jesus. There is power in the name of Jesus, to break every chain, break every chain, to break every chain...'
Have you ever tried to break a chain? It is pretty impossible on your own- even when I am making jewelry, I still have to use some sort of tool to cut the chain to whatever length I'm going for. And usually that's little chain. What about the big chains? I have this picture of Marley's ghost from 'A Christmas Carol' trudging with all of his chains- and I see me sometimes- a ghost with regrets and misery... But it doesn't have to be that way!!! Jesus already paid the price for these crazy chains I drag around with me- and He desires to break them once and for all- that I may walk in freedom with Him. He delights to break the chains. But do we recognize the chains? Oh that He would reveal them and that we would ask Him to break them and to help us not to pick them back up again.
Have you ever tried to break a chain? It is pretty impossible on your own- even when I am making jewelry, I still have to use some sort of tool to cut the chain to whatever length I'm going for. And usually that's little chain. What about the big chains? I have this picture of Marley's ghost from 'A Christmas Carol' trudging with all of his chains- and I see me sometimes- a ghost with regrets and misery... But it doesn't have to be that way!!! Jesus already paid the price for these crazy chains I drag around with me- and He desires to break them once and for all- that I may walk in freedom with Him. He delights to break the chains. But do we recognize the chains? Oh that He would reveal them and that we would ask Him to break them and to help us not to pick them back up again.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Never Felt So Right
Ok, I confess, I am just GUSHING over how much He loves me tonight! Today, I got to do 3 haircuts at work, and I've never felt more loved by Him- How much He cares for me that He'd lead me to a career that has brought me so much JOY!
As I worked on a couple of friends today, I couldn't stop beaming & marveling at the wonder that these hands He's given me can create. These hands can minister. These hands can glorify Him. I'm so humbled that He's given me a niche & that He wants to use me in this way. Today has truly been a beautiful day.
As I worked on a couple of friends today, I couldn't stop beaming & marveling at the wonder that these hands He's given me can create. These hands can minister. These hands can glorify Him. I'm so humbled that He's given me a niche & that He wants to use me in this way. Today has truly been a beautiful day.
Monday, March 26, 2012
"Religious Infections"
Last night, the Lord brought such a powerful message through one of our pastors... I'd heard about "religious infections" from him before, but maybe I wasn't in a place to be real with myself and confess the searing pain that I was sick with more than just one of the six on the list. I'm not talking about chicken pox, but infection far more painful and much less noticeable...
1. Humanism- "I need to get better"- the attitude that the sanctification process is my own to work out.
2. Moralism- "I need to be good"- the attitude that if I'm good enough, maybe I'll be obedient enough to make it.
3. Religious Zealot- "I'm more interested in religion than love", rules & guidelines become more important than people
4. Religious Hypocrite- "I'm good on the outside, and great at pretending I know the right answers, but my heart & motives are out of line"
5. Religious Folly- Zeal with no knowledge or wisdom
6. False Religion- We create God in our own image and forget we were made in His- when we have the attitude "Oh no, god would never do that..." Exactly. Because that god doesn't exist.
You need the Gos-pill. (and so do I every moment of every day)
www.ChristChurchGainesville.org You can hear the full sermon here.
Praying that you are deeply wounded by these truths so that the healing balm of the gospel may be applied generously to your wounds & that you would be healed as you surrender to the truth that this life is not about you, but it's all about Him & bringing glory to His name.
1. Humanism- "I need to get better"- the attitude that the sanctification process is my own to work out.
2. Moralism- "I need to be good"- the attitude that if I'm good enough, maybe I'll be obedient enough to make it.
3. Religious Zealot- "I'm more interested in religion than love", rules & guidelines become more important than people
4. Religious Hypocrite- "I'm good on the outside, and great at pretending I know the right answers, but my heart & motives are out of line"
5. Religious Folly- Zeal with no knowledge or wisdom
6. False Religion- We create God in our own image and forget we were made in His- when we have the attitude "Oh no, god would never do that..." Exactly. Because that god doesn't exist.
You need the Gos-pill. (and so do I every moment of every day)
www.ChristChurchGainesville.org You can hear the full sermon here.
Praying that you are deeply wounded by these truths so that the healing balm of the gospel may be applied generously to your wounds & that you would be healed as you surrender to the truth that this life is not about you, but it's all about Him & bringing glory to His name.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Squishy
An excerpt from my journal today:
"Thank you... for softening my heart. Jesus, I want to be squishy & love with my heart wide-open because that's how Your heart is to us. Unworthy, worthless messes & You love the messy, the ugly, the haters- and You love us all the way into Your Kingdom & Your love, it softens, it beckons, it transforms. Even me. A new creation. A heart of flesh in exchange for a heart of stone. Forgive me for trying to protect this soft heart with my own walls of stone because I don't understand fully the freedom that lies in leaving it in Your hands & that's how to guard a heart- to realize it's on loan from You anyway..."
"Thank you... for softening my heart. Jesus, I want to be squishy & love with my heart wide-open because that's how Your heart is to us. Unworthy, worthless messes & You love the messy, the ugly, the haters- and You love us all the way into Your Kingdom & Your love, it softens, it beckons, it transforms. Even me. A new creation. A heart of flesh in exchange for a heart of stone. Forgive me for trying to protect this soft heart with my own walls of stone because I don't understand fully the freedom that lies in leaving it in Your hands & that's how to guard a heart- to realize it's on loan from You anyway..."
Monday, January 16, 2012
I have not abandoned you!!!
So, it seems that it's been a few months since I have posted on my blog & that is kinda sad, I think. I have not abandoned jewelry-making, it's just that sometimes life and stuff get in the way. If only I could add a few more days to the weekends! Well, thanks to my mentor at the salon, I kind of have- I'm only working now Tuesday through Friday, which has taken some serious adjustment, but I'm finally getting to a point of being disciplined enough to actually get some sleep, as well as work on important things on Mondays! Yay!
Anywho, I'm trying to make jewelry-making and posting to the blog a weekly priority, as I could really use some extra financial support with the apprenticeship budget. I know who my Provider is, so I trust that He will take care of it all, but I'd be lying if I told you that the balance in my checking account right now is freaking me out. Seriously. Like no security there...
I'm asking that you tell your friends & family about me, about my jewelry, and my story- God is up to something BIG here & I want to tell everyone- What an adventure this has been since July of last year & the Lord working everything out for me to begin learning a trade that will not only take me places, but will allow me to meet people in so many different walks of life whom I can minister to. Already, I pray over our guests when I'm shampooing their hair and what a cool thing that legally I can be all up in their personal space like that- laying on hands & praying! (whether they know it, want it, or not! haha)
My prayer for myself daily is that God would continue to mold me into a usable vessel, that I would be in constant communion with Him, and that He would guide my hands and my mind to understand and do well the tasks before me in learning to cut & style hair- that my work would honor Him & bring Him glory, no matter what it is I set my hands to do. Join me?
Anywho, I'm trying to make jewelry-making and posting to the blog a weekly priority, as I could really use some extra financial support with the apprenticeship budget. I know who my Provider is, so I trust that He will take care of it all, but I'd be lying if I told you that the balance in my checking account right now is freaking me out. Seriously. Like no security there...
I'm asking that you tell your friends & family about me, about my jewelry, and my story- God is up to something BIG here & I want to tell everyone- What an adventure this has been since July of last year & the Lord working everything out for me to begin learning a trade that will not only take me places, but will allow me to meet people in so many different walks of life whom I can minister to. Already, I pray over our guests when I'm shampooing their hair and what a cool thing that legally I can be all up in their personal space like that- laying on hands & praying! (whether they know it, want it, or not! haha)
My prayer for myself daily is that God would continue to mold me into a usable vessel, that I would be in constant communion with Him, and that He would guide my hands and my mind to understand and do well the tasks before me in learning to cut & style hair- that my work would honor Him & bring Him glory, no matter what it is I set my hands to do. Join me?
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