You are GOOD

The wait is over, the results are in, and after all this waiting, I will not be a full-time graduate student this fall. Sad? Yes. Tears? Oh yea, but in the wisdom of a sweet lady I really look up to, tonight, I was reminded that I had been asking the Lord to make things so clear if grad school was not the door He had open for me, that it would remain shut, and locked, the key being the finances to go.  In a frenzy, I thought, "Lord, do I just not know how to hear Your voice anymore? Didn't You lead me to apply in the first place? What is this place You have brought me to, only to not allow me to cross the threshold?"

After the mail came this afternoon and I sat at the bottom of the driveway tearing into the scholarship letter from Richmont, I sat as the tears welled up after reading the words that rang with all their negative connotation... "unfortunately", "thank you for your interest, but", etc. A flurry of emotions came over me, but the one most shaking was, "Lord, I NEED to hear from You- I'm desperate for You to remind me I am Your sheep and that I hear and know YOUR voice. Please Lord."

In her sweet and gentle spirit, my dear friend reminded me that I had asked the Lord to keep all this in His hands, and that the decisions to make would be clear, and that if the door needed to stay closed that it would. So it did. So in this glorious revelation, I was reminded that I had indeed heard from the Lord. Maybe it wasn't the answer I was hoping for, but He is still God, still so good, and I receive it. Yes, Lord, I receive whatever it is You have in mind, instead of this plan I had in mind for myself. I receive from Your hands because YOU are the GOOD Giver, the GOOD Lover, the GOOD God. May my heart ever be, "yes, Lord" no matter the circumstances.

Now that the dust has settled and I can see a little clearer, and my heart is open to what He will say, I am ready & willing to hear it and boldly respond, "Yes, Lord, because I know that You are good and You are for me and You will never leave nor forsake me. Yes, Lord, because I long to trust and obey. Yes, Lord, because You have the best way, even if it is a painful way. Amen!"